Mar 8, 2013

4x15 Girls (and Boys) on Film / boys (and girls) do Moulin Rouge


Come what may, I will love Klaine until the end of Glee. And probably a little while after that. Also, Santana is great. And it's a shame that English dude is so lovable, 'cause I'd love to hate his guts.

These are the things I gathered from this episode. It was a movie-themed episode, which is great for someone who loves movies, but not so great for someone who doesn't love Tom Cruise. I'm bored with the structure that I usually use to write about episodes, so I'm trying a new one. See? I'll just write random thoughts as they come to me.


Will & Emma & Finn:

Will sulks and misses Emma and watches movies and has gravity-defying dreams. His taste in movies is quite ancient. Then he announces this year's Mash-Off, which is great, because usually they've come earlier in the season, and I was getting worried. Finn refers to Zero Dark Thirty and tells Will to stop moping and take action. Will didn't see that movie, because it was made after the 1950's, so he says no game. I love you, my fifteen years younger teenage BFF, but no game.

Finn takes action, anyway, and with Artie they dress up as gingers and trick Emma's parents into giving them her current coordinates. Emma's dad says it's stupid how the students at McKinley start to think about college only a week before graduation. I don't agree at all.

They get the address, and Finn convinces Will to make his grand romantic gesture. Will is out of original ideas, so he goes all John Hughes on Emma. That's ok, though, Emma is totally into it, because she's seen Say Anything, unlike some people. Huh? What? Who? Anyway. Then Will shoos the kids away, which is rude, after dragging them all the way there just to do a couple of minutes of swaying. But the adults need to talk now. I don't know what they're saying because I don't speak adult, but I love that Emma is wearing that jacket again. She wore it on season 2. Then they get to gay third base, too. (NB! That means they hold hands. God! What were you thinking?? Read on. I sometimes forget you can't read these posts in the same order in which I write them, so some of the jokes might not work like they do in my head.)

After making everyone super angry by declaring that everyone is a winner of the Mash-Off (that WAS lame, right?), Will excuses himself to the privacy of the hallway with Finn. Finn spills the beans about the Emma kiss. It's nicely acted and scripted, so yay for that.


New Yorkers:

It's snowing in NYC which means no one is allowed to step outside. Right? Which is why in Finland, every year from November to April, we don't step outside at all. We eat fir needles and sleep until the snow melts, and then we are awakened to the spring as we hear the familiar harmonica tune. No, wait, that's Moomindale, not Finland. Anyway. I wish I lived in Moomindale so I wouldn't have to live with all the slush. Anyway. Back to New York.

Santana is moping because she's trapped indoors with some NYADA nerds. The English dude, whose name I can't remember and can't bother to check right now even though I should, is doing some Downton Abbey impersonations, which I find amusing, and I don't even watch Downton Abbey. I should, I know. Anyway, Santana is not amused by the adorable English accent. For your information, I just tried googling 'glee english guy', but I didn't find the name, damn it. But I found out that the actor was in season two of Episodes. I don't remember him from it, but it's a brilliant show, so he gets some points for that anyway. But I'm still lacking a name. Ok, I feel stupid now. It's Adam, right. From Adam's Apples. Oh, woman, you amaze me sometimes.

Back to Santana and NYADA nerds and Downton Abbey. Because Santana is bored she starts to bitch around, and cause uncomfortable situations, which isn't good when you're trapped in one room until further notice. She's awesome for a little while longer, and then Rachel throws a tantrum because she's so stressed out for being pregnant and having a prostitute boyfriend and all that. But Kurt saves the day with Moulin Rouge!, because there is no day that movie couldn't save. Like there's no day the musical number that follows could not save. Oh my god, I mean. Just Can't Get Enough just got knocked down from the stool reserved for my second favorite Klaine duet of all time. And it didn't even have the time to get comfortable.

Santana continues to be both awesome and bitchy (a combination she does best), as Adam - you know, the English guy, whose name is obviously so easy to remember - catches Kurt weeping in the middle of Moulin Rouge!. Silly Kurt, the weeping comes later, you should know that. Santana points out that Kurt and Blaine used to fantasize about singing this song at their wedding. Aww, or what? Then she insults Brody, which is hilarious.

Rachel calls Brody to prove Santana that he is not a drug dealer. She tells him they are watching Moulin Rouge! and Ewan McGregor is about to cry, but he doesn't care. If that means he's not a drug dealer, then at least it means that he sucks.

Then the snow melts, so it's business as usual again. Thus Kurt is making pirouettes. He and what's-his-name-again ADAM have a really sweet and nice chat, and I want to loathe the whole conversation and slap Adam in his Adam's apple or something, but I can't get over how adorable his accent is. Seriously. You truly learn to appreciate British accents only when heard among huge amounts of painfully common American accents. Kurt and Adam take their relationship to the new level, as they hold hands, which is like at least the third base, in Glee's gay couple standards. (See? This is what I was referring to earlier. It's funny if you read this first.) What's their shipping name, by the way? Kadam? Okay, I love that. It's even better than Klaine. It's like a magic word, or a spell, if you put the emphasis on the second syllable. I'm totally turning my coat now. Ka-DAM forever! Ka-DAM rules!

Santana and Rachel have a girl talk. Santana style. So it's actually really awesome. Because she insults Brody first. And then she hugs her. That's why we love Santana, because we know that under all those brilliant, hurtful insults, she really does care. Bless her. Bless her so much!


New kids:

Kitty is pretty funny. But otherwise. Blah. Snoooooore. Oh, oh! Except that Marley is into The Hunger Games. Points for that, sister.


Songs:

I have a confession, and I realize this probably means I don't get to call myself a film fanatic anymore. I didn't recognize any of these songs, besides the Moulin Rouge! ones. This makes me a bad person, who does not watch enough old movies. I should switch lives with Will Schuester for a week.

You're All the World to Me. I have a feeling this is the first ever Will/Emma duet. Is it not? Is that crazy? I know Brittana fans complain a lot, and Klainers think they have it bad, but those poor, poor Wemma shippers! Really! For 498 musical numbers they waited for a duet. Well, now that they got it, I at least think it's really nice. I always love when they let Emma sing. And I don't mind watching Will dance now that he hasn't been allowed to do that in such a long time. Black and white is nice. I'm just all the time wondering about how they shot that.

Shout. 500! I like that it was Blaine and Brit, and not something predictable like Blaine and... well, Blaine. Haha. I liked the crawling and the dancing on various tables.

Come What May. (I feel I should use a lot of exclamation marks here. Perhaps write the whole thing on CAPSLOCK.) Moulin Rouge! was the first film that I loved, not counting the love that a child has for Disney. I'm talking about the kind of love that a film fanatic has for a film. I've loved many other movies since, some more than Moulin Rouge!, but the Red Mill began it all. Not least because of Ewan McGregor, who was one of the first celebrity crushes I ever had. First, and only ones, really, I don't really do celebrity crushes, they're not my thing. Yeah... So. I was spoiled about Come What May, which is good, for once, because not being prepared for that might have caused some irremediable emotional damage. A bit like the damage that those flashbacks caused me. Flashbacks. A Moulin Rouge! song. Blaine in a suit. Kurt in a suit. Fake snow. Slow-dancing. Slow-hugging. Klaine covering Come What May. I can't even. (I learned that expression on Tumblr, and I think this is an appropriate place to use it.)

Old Time Rock 'n Roll/ Danger Zone. I haven't even seen Risky Business. And I hated Top Gun. But I liked this, anyhow. Blam! My only complaint is that Darren should've been pantless, too. He would've looked adorable. Afterwards Joe is kind of hilarious, quoting Jack Nicholson instead of Tom Cruise. Haha, loser. Like, for example, I am so in the know when it comes to classic macho man movies. Like, you can quote Die Hard to me, and I could totally tell that you are not quoting Rocky or Scarface.

Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend/Material Girl. Firstly, could they have chosen any more stereotypical songs and movies for the girls and the boys? Alright, so I have stated in this post that I love Moulin Rouge! and hate everything with Tom Cruise (except for Tropic Thunder, by the way), but if I was given this task, I wouldn't choose any girly songs from some girly movies. I'd  choose something like that really famous song from The Avengers, and the one from The Social Network when there's the rowing race. Now take that, gender stereotypes! Secondly, another song from Moulin Rouge!, yay! Thirdly, everyone looks very beautiful in the designer gowns and Tiffany jewels that they received from their sponsors for this number only. Fourthly, no more Marley/Alex-what's-his-I-mean-her-name duets. Yes, they sound good, but no more! I need at least a five-episode break. Thank you.

In Your Eyes. I'm concentrating on being ashamed for not having seen Say Anything. I'll fix that. Soon.

Unchained Melody. I dozed off in the middle of it, but then I woke up again, and noticed that even though I don't care for the song or the context, it was really nicely done, editing and shooting-wise.

Footloose. I want a pair of those shoes. The red soles are awesome! The choreography is quite awesome, too. I'll give the number four stars, or a strong B+. If only I gave stars, or grades, which I don't.

Yeah, I cropped the Glee Project kid out of the picture. Not a statement, or anything.

Quotes:

"We should do The Artist so we don't have to sing."

Everything Santana says about Brody. I should quote the whole dialogue.

"If I see one more scene of Satine coughing blood into a handkerchief, I'm gonna start coughing blood into a handkerchief."

"You can't handle the truth!"
"That's actually Jack Nicholson, not Tom Cruise."

"She was freaking out about the wedding and going all AC/DC."


Next:

I know there will be a N'Sync/Back Street Boys mash-up, and I completely approve.


P.S. My favorite GIF this week:


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